House Quotes
Dan's Father: How can you just sit there?
Dr. Gregory House: Well, if I eat standing up I spill.
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[Dr. House is seeing a patient whose skin is bright orange seeking
treatment for back pain]
Dr. Gregory House: Unfortunately, you have a deeper problem. Your
wife is having an affair.
Orange patient: What?
Dr. Gregory House: You're *orange*, you moron. And it's one thing
for you not to notice, but if your wife hasn't picked up on the
fact that her husband has changed colours, she's just not paying
attention.
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Dr. Cameron: Men should grow up.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. And dogs should stop licking themselves.
It's not gonna happen.
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Dr. Wilson: Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth.
Dr. Gregory House: And truth often kicks us in the nads.
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Dr. Eric Foreman: I think your argument is specious.
Dr. Gregory House: I think your tie is ugly.
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Dr. Wilson: That smugness of yours really is an attractive quality.
Dr. Gregory House: Thank you. It was either that or get my hair
highlighted. Smugness is easier to maintain.
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Dr. Gregory House: Perseverance does not equal worthiness. Next
time you want to get my attention, wear something fun. Low-riding
jeans are hot.
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Rachel Adler: What made you a cripple?
Dr. Gregory House: I had an infarction.
Rachel Adler: A heart attack?
Dr. Gregory House: It happens when the blood flow is obstructed.
It's in the heart, it's a heart attack; it's in the lungs, it's
a pulmonary embolism; it's in the brain, it's a stroke. I had it
in my legs.
Rachel Adler: Wasn't there something they could do?
Dr. Gregory House: There was plenty they could do... if they had
made the right diagnosis. The only symptom was pain. Not many people
get to experience muscle death.
Rachel Adler: Did you think you were dying?
Dr. Gregory House: I hoped I was dying.
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Dr. Wilson: [Wilson is quoting a poem from a patient of House's]
Dr. Gregory House: "The healer with his magic powers! / I could
rub his gentle brow for hours. / His manly chest, his stubbled jaw,
/ Everything about him leaves me raw"-
Dr. Wilson: Psych ward's upstairs.
Dr. Gregory House: "--with joy. Oh, House your very name /
Will never leave this girl the same." It's not bad for an 82-year-old.
She asked me to give that to her true love.
Dr. Wilson: What can I say? Chicks with no teeth turn me on.
Dr. Gregory House: That's fairly disgusting.
Dr. Wilson: That's ageism. You better watch yourself around this
babe.
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Dr. Gregory House: I am the doctor who's trying to save your son's
life. You're the mother who's letting him die. Clarification- it's
a beautiful thing.
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Dr. Robert Chase: Matt's mum won't make a move until she hears from
the C.D.C.
Dr. Wilson: Godot would be faster.
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Dr. Gregory House: [to Dr. Foreman, who has a famous patient's Do
Not Resuscitate order] And hang onto that DNR... it could be worth
a lot of money real soon.
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Dr. Gregory House: A patient comes because she's sleeping 16 hours
a day, and it takes ten doctors and a coma to diagnose sleeping
sickness.
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[House referred to Chase as British]
Dr. Robert Chase: I'm Australian!
Dr. Gregory House: You put the Queen on your money. You're British.
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Dr. Gregory House: [in Cuddy's office with Foreman] Hey! He knows
more homeless people than any of us!
[to Foreman]
Dr. Gregory House: Go check out the hood, Dog.
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [approaching with two young-looking female interns]
Dr. House!
Dr. Gregory House: Time for Girl Scout cookies already?
Dr. Wilson: Get me some Thin Mints.
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Dr. Wilson: I forgot I needed a reason to give a crap.
Dr. Gregory House: You're actually giving two craps.
Dr. Wilson: The metric system always confused me.
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Dr. Wilson: [House is snooping through Wilson's file to try and
find out why Wilson is insisting on a homeless woman being treated]
Dr. Wilson: You know, in some cultures, it's considered almost rude
for one friend to spy on another. Of course, in Swedish, "friend"
also translates into "limping twerp".
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Dr. Wilson: You really don't need to know everything about everybody.
Dr. Gregory House: I don't *need* to watch The O.C., but it makes
me happy.
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Dr. Gregory House: You can think I'm wrong, but that's no reason
to quit thinking.
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Chris Dewey: [trying to tell an uninterested House a patient's history]
You're reading a comic book.
Dr. Gregory House: And you're drawing attention to your bosom by
wearing a low-cut top.
[she covers her chest with her clipboard]
Dr. Gregory House: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were having a "state-the-obvious"
contest. I'm competitive by nature.
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Rachel Adler: I just want to die with a little dignity.
Dr. Gregory House: There's no such thing! Our bodies break down,
sometimes when we're 90, sometimes before we're even born, but it
always happens and there's never any dignity in it! I don't care
if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass... it's always ugly, always!
You can live with dignity; you can't die with it!
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Dr. Gregory House: You think it's going to come out on its own?
Are we talking bigger than a breadbasket? 'Cause actually, it will
come out on its own, which for small stuff is no problem: it's wrapped
up in a nice soft package and plop. Big stuff? You're gonna rip
something, which, speaking medically, is when the fun stops.
Young Man: How did you...?
Dr. Gregory House: We've been here for half an hour and you haven't
sat down; that tells me its location. You haven't told me what it
is; that tells me it's humiliating. You have a little birdie carved
under your arm; that tells me you have a high tolerance for humiliation,
so I figure it's not hemarrhoids. I've been a doctor twenty years,
you're not going to surprise me.
Young Man: It's an MP3 player.
Dr. Gregory House: Is it... is it because of the size, the shape,
or is it the pounding bass line?
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Dr. Gregory House: You don't have a problem with what I did?
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You need a lawyer.
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: When I hired you, I knew you were insane. I will
continue to try and stop you from doing insane things, but once
they're done, trying to convince an insane person not to do insane
things is, in itself, insane. So when I hired you, I also set aside
fifty thousand a year for legal expenses. So far, you've come in
under budget.
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Dr. Cameron: Why did you hire me?
Dr. Gregory House: Does it matter?
Dr. Cameron: Kind of hard to work for a guy who doesn't respect
you.
Dr. Gregory House: Why?
Dr. Cameron: Is that rhetorical?
Dr. Gregory House: No, it just seems that way because you can't
think of an answer. Does it make a difference what I think? I'm
a jerk. The only thing that matters is what you think. Can you do
the job?
Dr. Cameron: You hired a black guy because he had a juvenile record.
Dr. Gregory House: No, it wasn't a racial thing. I didn't see a
black guy, I just saw a doctor with a juvenile record. I hired Chase
'cause his dad made a phone call. And I hired you because you are
extremely pretty.
Dr. Cameron: You hired me to get into my pants?
Dr. Gregory House: I can't believe that that would shock you. It's
also not what I said. No, I hired you because you look good. It's
like having a nice piece of art in the lobby.
Dr. Cameron: I was at the top of my class!
Dr. Gregory House: But not *the* top.
Dr. Cameron: I did an internship at the Mayo Clinic!
Dr. Gregory House: You were a very good applicant.
Dr. Cameron: But not the best.
Dr. Gregory House: Would that upset you, really, to think that you
were hired for some genetic gift of beauty instead of some genetic
gift of intelligence?
Dr. Cameron: I worked very hard to get where I am!
Dr. Gregory House: You didn't have to. People choose the paths that
gain them the greatest rewards for the least amount of effort. That's
a law of nature, and you defied it. That's why I hired you. You
could've married rich, you could've been a model, you could've just
shown up and people would've given you stuff - lots of stuff - but
you didn't. You worked your stunning little ass off.
Dr. Cameron: Am I supposed to be flattered?
Dr. Gregory House: Gorgeous women do not go to medical school...
unless they are as damaged as they are beautiful. Were you abused
by a family member?
Dr. Cameron: No!
Dr. Gregory House: Sexually assaulted?
Dr. Cameron: No!
Dr. Gregory House: But you *are* damaged, aren't you?
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Stacy Warner: You avoid work like the plague, unless it actually
is the plague.
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Stacy Warner: God, you are such an idiot.
Dr. Gregory House: Actually, I thought I was more of a jerk.
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Carmen Electra: [during a diagnostics lecture on leg pain, House
has substituted Carmen Electra for the actual patient] Can I put
my pants back on?
Dr. Gregory House: I'd rather you not.
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Gabriel Reilich: Who are you?
Dr. Gregory House: The little ones call me "Uncle Greg."
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Dr. Gregory House: [talking about 9-year-old cancer patient] Let's
see how brave she is when she finds out she's going to die.
Dr. Wilson: Go to hell.
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Dr. Gregory House: Oxygen is so important during those prepubescent
years, don't you think?
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Dr. Eric Foreman: No neurologist in his right mind would recommend
that.
Dr. Gregory House: Show of hands: who thinks I'm not in my right
mind? And who thinks I forget this very basic neurological fact?
Who thinks there's a third option?
[Dr. Chase raises his hand]
Dr. Gregory House: Very good. What's the third choice?
Dr. Robert Chase: No idea. You just asked if I thought there was
one.
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Dr. Cameron: Twelve-year-olds don't have sex.
Dr. Gregory House: Their mistake.
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Dr. Robert Chase: I definitely need to know. You haven't had any
sex?
Gabriel Reilich: I wish.
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Dr. Gregory House: [sticking his head into an exam room] Need a
consult!
Dr. Wilson: With a patient!
Dr. Gregory House: Urgent doctor stuff.
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Dr. Cameron: All this hate is toxic.
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Dr. Robert Chase: How'd you like it if I interfered in your personal
life?
Dr. Gregory House: I'd hate it. That's why, cleverly, I have no
personal life.
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Dr. Gregory House: Clue number one - if I were Jesus, curing this
kid would be as easy as turning water into wine.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Demonic possession?
Dr. Gregory House: Close, but no wafer.
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Dr. Gregory House: [to the crowd in the walk-in clinic's waiting
area] Hello, sick people and their loved ones! In the interest of
saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chitchat later, I'm Doctor
Gregory House; you can call me "Greg." I'm one of three
doctors staffing this clinic this morning.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Short, sweet, grab a file.
Dr. Gregory House: This ray of sunshine is Doctor Lisa Cuddy. Doctor
Cuddy runs this whole hospital, so unfortunately she's much too
busy to deal with you. I am a bored... certified diagnostician with
a double specialty of infectious disease and nephrology. I am also
the only doctor currently employed at this hospital who is forced
to be here against his will.
[to Lisa]
Dr. Gregory House: That is true, isn't it?
[to crowd]
Dr. Gregory House: But not to worry, because for most of you, this
job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking
of which, if you're particularly annoying, you may see me reach
for this: this is Vicodin. It's mine! You can't have any! And no,
I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem...
but who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So,
who wants me?
[nobody moves]
Dr. Gregory House: And who would rather wait for one of the other
two guys?
[everybody raises their hand]
Dr. Gregory House: Okay, well, I'll be in Exam Room One if you change
your mind.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Jody Matthews?
[Jody raises her hand]
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Please accompany Doctor House to Exam Room One.
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [House is reporting for clinic duty] You're half
an hour late.
Dr. Gregory House: Busy case load.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: One case is not a "load".
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[House is popping pills]
Orange patient: What is that? What are you taking?
Dr. Gregory House: Painkillers.
Orange patient: Oh, for your... for your leg.
Dr. Gregory House: No, 'cause they're yummy! Want one?
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Dr. Wilson: I love my wife.
Dr. Gregory House: You certainly love saying it.
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Dr. Wilson: At least I try.
Dr. Gregory House: Well, as long as you're trying to be good, you
can do whatever you want.
Dr. Wilson: And as long as you're not trying, you can say whatever
you want.
Dr. Gregory House: So between us we can do anything. We can rule
the world!
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Dr. Gregory House: Ah! The husband described her as being unusually
irritating recently.
Dr. Cameron: And?
Dr. Gregory House: I didn't realize it was possible for a woman
to be 'unusually' irritable.
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Dr. Gregory House: I find your interest interesting.
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: It takes two department heads to treat shortness
of breath? What, did the complications increase exponentially with
cup size?
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Dr. Cameron: You want me to tell a man whose wife is about to die
that she may have cheated on him?
Dr. Gregory House: No, I want you to be polite and let her die.
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Dr. Gregory House: Chicks dig this
[waves cane]
Dr. Gregory House: It's better than a puppy!
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: People talk.
Dr. Gregory House: About how big your ass is getting? I've been
defending you- you got back!
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[Dr. House, to delay a surgery, has violently sneezed and coughed
all over the sterile field]
Anesthesiologist: Well, there's no way we can do the surgery now...
Dr. Hourani: Ya think?
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Dr. Eric Foreman: You assaulted that man!
Dr. Gregory House: Fine. I'll never do it again.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Yes you will.
Dr. Gregory House: All the more reason this debate is pointless.
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Dr. Gregory House: You mentioned leishmaniasis and filariasis. Where
did you hear about them?
Jeffrey: I told you, I found them on the Internet.
Dr. Gregory House: What, did you search of "obscure tropical
diseases that don't match my son's symptoms?"
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Dr. Cameron: I'm uncomfortable about sex.
Dr. Robert Chase: Well, we don't have to talk about this...
Dr. Cameron: Sex COULD kill you. Do you know what the human body
goes through when you have sex? Pupils dilate, arteries constrict,
core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets,
respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of
electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere, and secretions spit
out of every gland, and the muscles tense and spasm like you're
lifting three times your body weight. It's violent. It's ugly. And
it's messy. And if God hadn't made it UNBELIEVABLY fun, the human
race would have died out eons ago.
[She pauses to catch her breath]
Dr. Robert Chase: [He is speechless]
Dr. Cameron: Men are lucky they can only have one orgasm. Know that
women can have an hour long orgasm?
Dr. Eric Foreman: [enters]
Dr. Cameron: [as if nothing had just occurred] Hey Foreman. What's
up?
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Dr. Gregory House: Ah, a rash, call a dermatologist. If it's wet,
keep it dry. If it's dry, keep it wet. If it's not supposed to be
there, cut it off. I never could remember all that.
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I need you to wear your lab coat.
Dr. Gregory House: I need two days of outrageous sex with someone
obscenely younger than you. Like half your age.
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Dr. Wilson: Billionaires buy movie studios to get laid. They buy
hospitals to get respect.
Dr. Gregory House: And the reason you want respect?
Dr. Wilson: To... get laid.
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Dr. Wilson: [paraphrasing House's frequent quote] "Everybody
lies"... except *politicians*? House, I believe you are a romantic.
You didn't just believe him, you believed in him. You wanna come
over tonight and watch old movies and *cry*?
[pauses, points]
Dr. Wilson: Dr. Cameron's getting to you. Well, I guess you can't
be around that much *niceness* and not get any on you
Dr. Gregory House: Is that why you haven't put the moves on her?
Dr. Wilson: What makes you think I *haven't* put the moves on her?
Dr. Gregory House: [Stops and stares]
Dr. Wilson: [points] Oh.
[he's onto something big]
Dr. Wilson: [whispers] Oh *boy*! You're in trouble.
[laughs and exits]
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Dr. Cameron: What happened to "Everybody Lies"?
Dr. Gregory House: I lied.
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Dr. Gregory House: Fine. Have it your way. Immaculate conception.
Susan: Um, what do I do?
Dr. Gregory House: Well, it's obvious - start a religion.
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Dr. Eric Foreman: [to House] These regulations aren't just here
to annoy you.
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Mr. Foster: What is your problem?
Dr. Gregory House: Bum leg, what's yours?
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Dr. Robert Chase: I think we need to take his girlfriend's theory
into account.
Dr. Cameron: Oh, and what is that?
Dr. Robert Chase: She thinks she rode him to death.
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Dr. Gregory House: What we need to do is treat... um...
Dr. Cameron: Brandon.
Dr. Gregory House: Brandon! Thank you. Now, most allergic reactions
accompany some form of drug. Have you ever taken drugs...
Dr. Cameron: Brandon.
Dr. Gregory House: Brandon! Lovely name.
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Dr. Wilson: Even I don't like you!
Dr. Gregory House: Words can hurt you know.
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Dr. Gregory House: Like I always say, there's no "I" in
team. There's a "me" though, if you jumble it up.
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Dr. Gregory House: I'm extremely disappointed. I send you out for
exciting, new designer drugs, you come back with tomato sauce.
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Your reputation won't last if you don't do your
job; the clinic is part of your job. I want you to do your job.
Dr. Gregory House: But as the philosopher Jagger once said "You
can't always get what you want."
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Dr. Gregory House: Everybody lies.
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[repeated line]
Dr. Gregory House: We're missing something.
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Dr. Gregory House: Hey! You're killing her!
Edward Vogler: Really?
Dr. Gregory House: She knew the risks! One blip in the data and
your results are off!
Edward Vogler: The FDA eats blips for breakfast! One person shouldn't
endanger thousands!
Dr. Gregory House: Thank God for you to save all those lives!
Edward Vogler: [chuckles] Calm down. Why don't you play some Game
Boy? Watch your soap? I hear they're firing the handsome doctor
today.
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Ramona: Hi. I'm having vaginal pain.
Dr. Gregory House: Pleasure to meet you.
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Ramona: My OB-GYN died recently. Nice man. Warm hands.
Dr. Gregory House: Not any more.
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Dr. Gregory House: Overall, drug addicts are idiots
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Dr. Gregory House: [trying to get Cuddy to leave the room by admitting
malpractice] So there I was, in the clinic, drunk, so I opened the
drawer, closed my eyes, grabbed the first syringe I could find...
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Dr. Gregory House: So what's your plan? You take the big dark one,
I'll take the little girl, and the Aussie will run like a scared
wombat if things get tough.
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Dr. Wilson: I love my wife.
Dr. Gregory House: You loved all your wives.
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Dr. Gregory House: Less money is made by biochemists working on
a cure for cancer than by their colleagues struggling valiantly
to hide steroid use.
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Dr. Gregory House: That's why you're here? She wants you to keep
an eye on me, make sure I don't cheat.
Dr. Wilson: No, I wanted to make sure you don't start firing shots
from the clock tower.
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Dr. Gregory House: I take risks, sometimes patients die, but not
taking risks causes more patients to die, so my biggest problem
is the curse to do the math.
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Dr. Gregory House: The eyes can mislead, a smile can lie, but the
shoes always tell the truth.
Dr. Wilson: They were Prada, which means she has good taste.
Dr. Gregory House: They were not Prada. You wouldn't know Prada
if one stepped on your scrotum.
Dr. Wilson: Okay, well.. they were nice, pointy.
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Dr. Eric Foreman: How'd she get to you?
Dr. Gregory House: She's the CEO of Sonyo cosmetics. Three assistants
and fifteen VPs checked out who should be treating her. Who da man?
I da man. I always suspected.
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Dr. Cameron: That's not necessarily bad news.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Do you ever watch "Gilligan's Island"
reruns and really, really think they're going to get off the island
this time?
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Dr. Robert Chase: Well, let's go further outside the box. Let's
say the angio revealed a clot, and let's say we treated that clot,
and now she's all better, and personally thanked me by performing
-
Dr. Cameron: My Aunt Elisa lives in Philadelphia.
Dr. Gregory House: Oh, it's storytime! Let me get my baba.
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Dr. Wilson: Oh, this is where I give you advice and pretend you
are going listen to it, I love this part.
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Dr. Gregory House: Be home by midnight or you can't have the car
this weekend.
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Dr. Gregory House: Fascinating story. Did you think about adapting
it to the stage?
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Dr. Gregory House: You don't want to burden him because you were
such a lousy dad.
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Dr. Gregory House: Dr. Cuddy. Thanks for the consult. His throat
seems to have some condition.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: He has a sore throat.
Dr. Gregory House: Of *course*! Yes! Why didn't I... He... He said
that it hurt and I should have deduced that it was sore.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I was in a board meeting.
Dr. Gregory House: Patients come first, right?
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Dr. Cameron: Foreman! Are you going to contribute, or are you too
tired from stealing cars?
Dr. Eric Foreman: [everyone stares]
Dr. Cameron: I'm being House. It's funny.
Dr. Eric Foreman: I know. You made milk come out of my nose
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[House has just interviewed a new doctor that is more sarcastic
then he is]
Dr. Wilson: That's our Hitler!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Eric Foreman: It's dangerous, it could kill him. You should
do it.
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Dr. Gregory House: Does your penis hurt?
John Funsten: What? No! Should it?
Dr. Gregory House: No, I thought I'd give you a really inappropriate
question. Your lawyers will love it.
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Dr. Gregory House: McPhearson? Horrible doctor, I heard he tortured
kittens.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: No, McDonald.
Dr. Gregory House: Oh, McDonald? Wonderful Doctor, loves kittens
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Dr. Gregory House: When I decide to push you away, I hope there's
a small person standing behind you so you fall down and hurt your
head.
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Dr. Wilson: Nobody's perfect.
Dr. Gregory House: Mother Theresa?
Dr. Wilson: Dead.
Dr. Gregory House: Angelina Jolie?
Dr. Wilson: No medical degree.
Dr. Gregory House: Oh, so now who's being picky.
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Dr. Cameron: [discussing a patient's diagnosis] What about sex?
Dr. Gregory House: Well, it might get complicated. We work together.
I am older, certainly, but maybe you like that.
Dr. Cameron: I meant maybe he has neurosyphilis.
Dr. Gregory House: Heh, nice cover.
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[to House]
Dr. Cameron: I thought you were too screwed up to love anyone. I
was wrong. You just couldn't love me. It's okay. I'm happy for you.
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Dr. Gregory House: Bros. before hoes, man.
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Dr. Gregory House: I coulda hit that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Gregory House: I'm a little busy - gettin' my drink on.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Gregory House: [after seeing Stacy outside office window and
closing blinds] What? Mommy and Daddy are fighting right now, but
that doesn't mean we don't love you.
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Dr. Gregory House: Why did you kill your girlfriend?
Clarence: The bitch stepped out.
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Dr. Gregory House: [House is eating lunch while sitting next to
a patient in a coma] He doesn't mind, I asked.
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Dr. Eric Foreman: Blood gas came back with a pH of 7.28 and a decreased
HCO3.
Dr. Gregory House: Which means two things. Most importantly, Cameron
was wrong about the bi-carb. Less significantly, we have a new symptom.
Who's chubby?
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Stacy Warner: If you didn't want me working here, why didn't you
just say so?
Dr. Gregory House: I don't want you working right here. In my office.
But anywhere else in the building is fine. It's a really big hospital.
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[to Cameron, Chase and Foreman]
Dr. Gregory House: Talk to Cuddy. She's got me going into Mercer
State Prison, Capital Sentences Unit. She's trying to impress her
new sex-retary.
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[to Dr. Cuddy]
Dr. Gregory House: What's with hiring a male secretary? J-Date not
working out?
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Dr. Gregory House: Treating illnesses is why we became doctors.
Treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.
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[to Foreman]
Dr. Gregory House: Her leg hurts after running six miles. Who knows?
Could be anything.
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Dr. Gregory House: How are we doing on the cotton swabs today? If
there's a critical shortage, I could run home.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: No, you couldn't.
Dr. Gregory House: Nice.
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[to a patient whilst performing an ultrasound]
Dr. Gregory House: Don't worry. Many women learn to live with this
parasite. My own mother, for example. 45 years and she only complains
about it from time to time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[to Cameron at Christmas]
Dr. Gregory House: Candy canes? Are you trying to mock me?
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Lucy Palermo: I will talk no more of books or of the long war but
walk by the dry thorn until I have found some beggar shelter from
the wind and there manage the talk until her name come round. If
there be rags enough he will know her name and be well pleased remembering
it. For in the old days though she had young men's praise and old
men's blame among the poor both the old and young gave her praise.
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Dr. Cameron: I'm the only one who's always stood behind you when
you've screwed up.
Dr. Gregory House: Why? Why would you support someone who screws
up?
Dr. Cameron: Because I'm not insanely insecure, and because I can
actually trust in another human being, and I am not an angry, misanthropic
son of a bitch.
Dr. Gregory House: I'm sorry. You said you *weren't* angry.
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Dr. Gregory House: [examining a baby] No fever, glands normal. Missing
her vaccination dates.
Young Mother: We're not vaccinating.
Dr. Gregory House: Think they don't work?
Young Mother: I think some multinational pharmaceutical company
wants me to think they work. Pad their bottom line.
Dr. Gregory House: ... You know another really good business? Teeny
tiny baby coffins. You can get 'em in frog green, fire-engine red,
really. The antibodies in yummy mummy only protect the kid for six
months, which is why these companies think they can gouge you. They
think that you'll spend whatever they ask to keep your kid alive.
Wanna change things? Prove 'em wrong. Few hundred parents like you
decide they'd rather let their kid die than cough up forty bucks
for a vaccination, believe me, prices will drop really fast!
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Dr. Eric Foreman: You are aware of the Hippocratic oath, right?
Dr. Gregory House: The one that starts, "First, do no harm",
then goes on to tell us: no abortions, no seductions, and definitely
no cutting of those who labor beneath the stone? Yeah, took a read
once. Wasn't impressed.
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Are you being *intentionally* dense?
Dr. Gregory House: Huh?
- Quotes from IMDB.com
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